15 simple principles to resolve differences and secure your rights.

1. Any person that contributes to the community, has done service to you. Be thankful to the person for his role, effort, idea or information. If you expect more from him / her, ask for it and offer to help.

2. No one is a cheat. Its camouflage. We think someone is a cheat, because we are not able to understand his / her behavior or insecurities. Even if someone is, it serves no purpose in telling him so. Focus only on your interest and learn to protect it, without hurting people’s ego.

3. Its mostly easier to protect your interest than what you make it out to be. The more you panic before taking action towards self – protection, the more difficult you make it.

4. The more you hurt / abuse others, even when you feel justified, the more you are hurting inside your own self.

5. Take responsibility for your actions / situations. Remember that when someone seems to be holding on to what is yours, it was initially given by you to them.

6. When you have suffered from others. Its not because you were nice to them, but its because you did not protect your interest. So don’t close your heart more and more every time you get suffering from others.

7. When you understand that you have suffered by your past actions. Don’t forget to forgive yourself before marching forward to set it right. You need the whole of you to get back what you lost.

8. Remain objective in conversations with people and groups, you never know what catches fire. There is a risk of losing the purpose of your action.

9. No one has a reason to fight with you or make your life miserable. Don’t give them reasons to begin with.

10. If you have given others a reason to fight with you, remember they need an honourable exit from the situation too. Just make it easy for them to exit.

11. When trying to repair a relationship, focus on where you went wrong. That will be a good way to ask the other to focus on where he went wrong. But then, everyone one has different ways to say sorry. You say it your way, & let the other person say it his way at his convenient time.
12. Never lose focus of your genuine rights. Keep working on them. But if it is not working in a situation. Give up and try again after the next breath. If it’s still not working, give up and try again the next day. Every try may be a new try.

13. For what is yours, simply ask what you want, don’t explain why. Don’t give options and explanations. Ask it once and then keep looking into the other’s eyes. Whoever moves the eye contact first, loses.

14. Never question why you are getting problems in life. There is no other way for you to find success but by following your problems. They are like breadcrumbs in search of the treasure of your life.

15. Don’t carry regrets and baggage on your shoulders. They are yours. Stay light in pursuit of your goals.

Did you learn some lessons in resolving differences or in securing your rights. Do share your ideas and story.


Watch Out! 5 mistakes you could make when you are Low on Confidence in Business!

#1. Thinking of Plan B – Sometimes it may be good to have a Plan B. But most of the times it means that you are not confident about Plan A. So if you are thinking about Plan B, may be you don’t have a strong Plan A.

Once I was coaching a client. They had to purchase some raw material as part of their plan to manufacture & sell a new product. When I entered the scenario, they were thinking about buying & selling the raw material itself as a possible business vertical. After some questioning it became clear that they had the pressure to liquidate a lot of raw material due to lack of sales. After further inquiry the CEO realized that it was originally thought as Plan B to sell raw material in case sales don’t happen.

#2. Spending too much time on strategy – There is no perfect strategy. Also any product / service has a life cycle of evolution. If you have a very perfect kind of vision for your product, it may be a good idea to version the features & give it milestones. The strategy then should be limited to the  version being launched. It should be followed with Action & Outcomes (Profit). Sitting on today, you can’t think of a perfect model and strategy for future versions. If you do, it is most likely because low confidence about facing the test of the market.

#3. Needing too many benefits of using your product / service – During any pitch, its an unspoken rule that every prospect is a 100% client to begin with. From that point onwards YOU can either lose him or close the deal. During the pitch, when the seller feels it’s time to ‘sell’, a few differentiators / benefits / USP is enough. Offer the first USP & if the buyer is convinced close the deal. You don’t have to sell all USPs or benefits as per a fixed plan. So when marketing teams think about lots of benefits, it shows lack of confidence to face the client with the product in hand.

#4. Thinking of multiple target markets / business verticals during launch – First get through one. Then think about the others. If you are looking to have multiple target markets or business verticals to begin with, you are lacking in confidence. Have the guts to choose one & focus on one. Otherwise it only shows that once time comes to act, you get de-focused and start looking for other business verticals. There is no option in life or in business but to face the music.

#5. Struggling with the culture of the country or state – You need to pick your fights carefully in business. Don’t fight with everything you don’t like about the country or people or governance. If you want to fight against corruption you should be in politics. If you want to fight against “lack of ownership in employees”, you should be in leadership & development. If you want to fight against lack of civic sense, you should be a corporator. If your business is to sell telephony, then just fight for quality service. Don’t let other things weigh you down. When faced with other situations that bring out the warrior in you, take a deep breath and let go the people indulging. People are the way they are due to years of conditioning over generations. So if you see yourself blaming others, you should know that you are again not confident about the business you are in. These diversions will only help you in finding reasons for possible future failure.